Maul of Spotlessness
During the 11th Age, the reigning Dwarf King known as "Fricto the Unreasonably Picky" comissioned a great weapon that not only would strike fear into the hearts of his enemies, but would keep his armor from being splattered by the gore of said enemies being crushed. This is a case of people being careful what they wish for.
Attack / Damage Bonus: +1 / +2 / +3 per tier.
It Puts the Lotion on the Skin: (Daily) After scoring a critical hit, you can spend a recovery as a free action.
It Gets the Hose Again: (1/Battle) Use a quick action to quickly clean wielder and a 5' circle around him of all dust, dirt, blood, and signs of battle. (This does not help with fatigue, damage, etc.)
Quirk: Despises being dirty and is distrustful of anything filthy.